Libra Horoscope for February 20, 2011

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Go ahead and be the demanding diva you are today. Someone (pathetic) will actually manage to meet all of your annoying needs today. You're really lucky at least one human on the planet can deal with your high-maintenance attitude.

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Libra Horoscope for February 19, 2011

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Reassess your strategies today. Sure, your Plan B will most likely suck too, but at least you're under the naive assumption that your goals will actually come to fruition. In the end, you'll end up where you started -- in this case, it's the effort that counts.

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Libra Horoscope for February 18, 2011

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Sheesh! You're even less impulsive and extroverted than usual today, which means you're basically as interesting as a lump of dirt. This stodgy attitude isn't going to amount to anything, except maybe a nomination for the 'Dullest Person of the Year' award.

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Libra Horoscope for February 15, 2011

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You'll do yourself proud today. Even if you're gloating on the inside, try to at least appear modest; otherwise, someone is going to find a way to wipe that smart-alecky smile right off of your face and replace it with a fat lip and a black eye.

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Libra Horoscope for February 14, 2011

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You really want to do the right thing, but you always manage to sabotage yourself somehow and screw it up. Just forget about being altruistic. It obviously doesn't agree with you. You're better off doing nothing -- low expectations, baby.

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Libra Horoscope for February 13, 2011

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No amount of brainstorming will help you find the answers today. You'll just have to ride this one out and hope that lightning will strike twice and you'll come up with a brilliant solution. But that's wishful thinking, isn't it?

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Libra Horoscope for February 12, 2011

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You're quite the social butterfly today. You'll bounce from friend to friend and talk nonsensically about trifles only you care about. They really want you to go away, but they're too polite to tell you, and you're too clueless to pick up on their hints.

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Libra Horoscope for February 11, 2011

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You'll sound really naive today when openly discussing your hopes and dreams. Don't be too upset when you hear people snickering in the background. They don't mean to make you feel bad; they just can't help themselves!

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Libra Horoscope for February 11, 2011

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You'll sound really naive today when openly discussing your hopes and dreams. Don't be too upset when you hear people snickering in the background. They don't mean to make you feel bad; they just can't help themselves!

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Libra Horoscope for February 09, 2011

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Don't let yourself get too greedy just because you've been getting what you want lately. There's a reason greed is among the seven deadly sins, so don't push your luck. If it hasn't run out yet, it's damn close to being empty.

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Libra Horoscope for February 08, 2011

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You'll help out a family member in need, but don't expect a pat on the back. Man, you always manage to bring the spotlight right back to you, you self-centered little pig. Allow someone else to grab a little of that attention for once.

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Libra Horoscope for February 07, 2011

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Force yourself to have a good time today, even if it means faking smiles and laughter. This shouldn't be a problem since basically your whole life's a sham. Besides, trying to make the best of it is better than just lying there like a dead fish, right?

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Libra Horoscope for February 06, 2011

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Break out of your bubble and try something new today. You've been sheltering yourself from experiencing life because you're so afraid of failure. Get over this notion; you've already failed at being an interesting person so things can only go up from here.

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Libra Horoscope for February 05, 2011

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Everything is in complete disarray lately. The only thing you really can do is go with your gut and try to muddle through the day. And when that fails you, at least you only have yourself to blame. Reassuring, isn't it?

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Libra Horoscope for February 04, 2011

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What appears to be a financial opportunity is probably just a hoax. Don't believe all the stupid emails you get about making money from home. It's just spam, dude. And on that note, ignore the ads for penis enlargement and mail-order brides -- that too is a scam.

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Libra Horoscope for January 30, 2011

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You still haven't mastered the fine line between arrogance and pride. It's great you think so highly of yourself, but the more bragging you do, the less impressive your accomplishments will appear (not to mention the friends you stand to lose).

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Libra Horoscope for January 29, 2011

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The people around you see through your 'nice' act. You can smile as pretty as you want until your lips get stretch marks, but everyone knows you are an angry, bitter cow. Since all that negativity isn't going anywhere, you may as well embrace it.

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Libra Horoscope for January 28, 2011

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Working for the betterment of mankind and the planet is something you were never destined to do. Fill that SUV with gas, consume tons of bottled water and throw all your plastic bags in the ocean. Show those hippies once and for all who's boss!

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Libra Horoscope for January 27, 2011

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You'll need to act courageously today. Not in a saving-the-world kind of way but in a life-altering, I'm-ready-to-look-at-all-of-my-issues-with-my-eyes-wide-open kind of way. Now that takes bravery and a whole heck of a lot of stamina.

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Libra Horoscope for January 26, 2011

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Make sure you look in the crevices when dealing with others today. No, not their crevices, for god's sake. Just look for some dirt -- it's definitely there. Someone may be plotting your downfall, and you'll come out ahead if you cut it off at the pass.

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